Friday, 13 March 2009


I am moving tomorrow, and I havn't got any provisions [or money] for internet connection at my new place. I will attempt to get on here as much as possible, and get some pictures of GG's new pad up.

Keep safe.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

DWP and Apologies

I'm swatting up on D.L.A. know-how... I've already completed and sent the form, but now I'm worrying over it. It's funny, I never used to do that, not even with exams, yet now I do.
My Connexions worker assisted me with the form, because I concentrate for long enough to figure out what they are asking, and the form is exhaustingly long.
It's hard to fill out because my condition varies a lot over a week. I have days of ok-ish, able to microwave food, keep myself reasonably clean and presentable, get to uni, keep [almost] on top of my work. Then of being either better or worse, staying home and isolating, or sorting through unpaid bills and making a meal. Oh, and of crashing. Doom, gloom and staying under the duvet. Neglecting to eat, wash or talk.

My tutor at university spoke to me on Monday regarding my unacceptable attendance last year. I'm unsure if anyone else has told her what my "issues", as she put it, were. I wanted to say "I don't have issues, I have an illness", but it seemed more appropriate to grovel my apologies and get out of there.

Saturday, 7 March 2009

Well Done! Have A Gold Star!

Things I have accomplished this week:

- I attended our end of year evaluations, completed the mindless forms and collected the certificate. At the end of the session, 'cos they forgot me, but f*ck it.

- I attended part of the second year introduction, and made up a "believable but don't question me further" excuse about being ill.

- I lost my medication, but I managed to sort it out with only a few tears [and with the help of some Valium from the back of the medication box...]

- I went out last night to see friends, got a bit drunk, and I'm going out again tonight. I'm not going to beat myself up for spending money on alcohol - I'm going to enjoy myself.

- Most of my packing is done, and I know basically where everything is in the boxes and bags.

- I've got dressed EVERY day this week.

- I completed my DLA application, because I'm poor and, guess what, I have a disability. It causes me problems in everyday life, and it's a REAL illness, not me being silly.

- I haven't binged, purged, restricted, cut etc.

- I did my washing today. Who cares if I'm living off frozen tuna pasta bake - I don't smell and I have been fed. Go GG go!