Work was going very well, I was starting to gain a bit of self confidence. I managed most of last week, and was supposed to work today instead of Friday because I was going to a wedding with Viking. Friday went well, Saturday night I felt like things were falling apart because he was going back to Leeds, and this morning - I couldn't get up for work. I miss him so much. When he isn't here, my reason for getting out of bed, for eating, for breathing, is just gone. I need to live for myself and not for someone else, but I can't do that until I like myself.
I managed to eventually clean out the guinea pigs, chuck in some oven chips and watch some Russell Brand to up the comedy value in my pathetic life. From that, I realised that the answer to my problems is a loyal and sincere addiction to heroin. Sorry. I mean to stop beating myself up?