Eeeep eeep eeep.
Meeting the new mind-doctor today. Let's hope he does more than the last one did!
Important things -
Assigning him a new name, for use on this blog.
Remembering to take my diary - although I'm not quite as dependant on it as I have been.
Working out what to wear - too tidy and I'm discharged from services, too scruffy/smelly and I risk admission, not to mention my pride.
Oh. Holy fuck. I have pride in my appearance again. I actually CARE. This is great, fantastic, but also scary, as it is already expressing itself as a desire to LOSE 25 POUNDS NOW.
I hate these appointments.
New shrink usually means having to go through the last 19 years, and with my slightly squiffy memory, it's not that easy.
Fear of a BPD diagnosis - hmmm, young female who selfharms? What could that be.....
I will tidy this post up later, I'm just all in a muddle and I want another fag and I want to see Boyfriend for a good luck kiss but he is Oop North again :(
Half of me wants to let the numb feeling slide over me and crawl under the duvet for a few months, and the other half wants to skip and dance and tra la la la la all the shit stuff away.